I recently saw Butterfield 8 (1960)–TCM is a godsend for someone with a newborn–and, while I enjoyed it, there were times where I felt distinctly uncomfortable. These times all involved the on-screen judging of Gloria (Elizabeth Taylor). There are two scenes in particular that really stood out to me, the first because I was judging, too, and the second because the woman watching with me condoned Liggett’s (Laurence Harvey) bad behavior and blamed Gloria for it–just like Liggett did.

So, the first scene. Norma (Susan Oliver), who is the ‘good girl’ to Gloria’s femme fatale, lectures her boyfriend, Steve (Eddie Fisher), about Gloria and her lifestyle. Basically, she asks him if he’s okay with Gloria parading her string of lovers and hangovers in front of their future children. Talk about judging. I was uncomfortable because I found myself agreeing with Norma to some extent. I wouldn’t want my kids looking to Gloria as a role model, and here’s why. While I have no problem with women drinking alcohol or getting drunk once in a while, Gloria is drunk a lot–like binge drinking, early alcoholism a lot. That’s not the responsible approach to drinking I want to teach my kids.

As for the lovers…I firmly believe women should enjoy sex, and that women can have multiple partners over the course of a lifetime. My problem with Gloria is the way she treats her lovers. She doesn’t care about them as people; she uses them. Not only does she not care if she hurts them, but she seems almost to relish it. That is not the attitude I want my kids to have about other people and intimate relationships. Moreover, she’s having an affair with a married man–and, oh, yes, I’m judging him, too.

Liggett’s not a nice guy: He’s a cheater and an abuser. On more than one occasion he grasps and squeezes Gloria’s wrist hard enough to leave bruises. At one point, he is drunk and verbally abusive to her, shouting and calling her a whore. She understandably has (finally) had enough of his bad behavior, packs up her suitcase and heads to Boston the next day. He catches up to her, says he’s sorry–but she drove him to it–and proposes. That’s right, less than twenty-four hours after verbally and physically abusing her, slut-shaming her and blaming her (and her past) for his bad behavior, he proposes.

Gloria says no, and I’m with her. Unequivocally. The person watching the movie with me? Not so much. ‘He really loves her. She needs to understand he was drunk and hurting, and that’s why he said those things. She needs to forgive him and get married.’ Excuse me? No. It was distinctly uncomfortable to realize that ‘J’ saw nothing wrong with that position. Maybe it’s because ‘J’ is thirty years older than I am, but it was another reminder that Norma’s judgement of Gloria is alive and well.

As for the end of the film? Gloria dies in a blazing car accident at the end of a high speed chase. To be clear, it’s not the police chasing her. It’s Liggett, who won’t accept her refusal. He ends the film by telling his wife he needs to find his pride. That’s what he needs to find? And good-girl Norma? It looks like she’ll get her HEA.

Moral of the story: “Good girls” get the man; “good” wives accept and excuse their husband’s peccadilloes, and women who own their sexuality die in a fiery blaze.